My Summer!

There is nothing worse than Summer Vacation. For most people summer vacation is a time to relax and to let go of things and don't care about the daily problems that life gives us. But for miserable people like me summer could only get worse. I loath everything under the sun. I hate it when people are enjoying themselves, I guess this is one of my many anti-social behaviors that people dislike of me. I don't like it when I am the one being ignored or left out but I don't want to be the center of attention either. So, to avoid humanitarian contact I alienate myself from summer activities that involve social interaction. Only a few selected people can deal with my bad attitude and lack of sympathy and empathy for others. I rarely get out of the house, you can only find me outside for two reasons:
1. If I go hungry and there is no more food then I would be forced to go out.
2. If there is an unexpected disaster which involves me leaving the house for my own safety.
I have many reasons why not to leave the house but here is the main reason why I stay in the comforts of my home. I don't like it when people stare at me! Yes, I am aware that I have a condition in which my physical outlook is repulsive to many and I hate it when people stare at me or talk behind my back or worse rudely insult me in front of many people! I guess filipino humor is way to superficial the punch line is always predictable and it always involve someone being the person to be laughed at and another being the initiator of the joke, I guess what I'm trying to say that I don't like being the laughing stock of the crowd. I am always the fat kid who is being picked on and I don't fight back because I don't want people to think that I am a bully, heck, then I'm the one being bullied. So, to avoid further humiliation I choose to stay at home where I think I am safe but the fact of the matter is even though some people think I'm a bad ass I'm really a coward because I can't even face my fears.  My fear of socializing began when I was a kid. I only have few friends and as time pass by I had less friends until I had no friends and although some people say I get along with them well I'm not really comfortable being close to someone for a very long period of time. I also have separation anxiety and many people think of me as a lunatic because of my strange social behavior and actively wild imagination. So, for me friends come and go, many of my former friends can't stand my temper. Now, these are the factors why many people choose to stay away from me and as I reflect on my acts it made me think that I'm a total idiot! So, to save myself from further shame and to spare the people around me of my unbearable behavior I exclude myself from any social activities. In the eyes of many I am just a simpleton but I surely know more about myself and I hope they will know more about me as well but for the meantime, John Diaz is skipping Summer!